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Wednesday, February 25, 2009

Brillant Light & Love in Shadow & Pain

It strikes me as beautiful that despite the awful night I had yesterday I was at the exact same time so aware of how lovely the night was too. I honestly love days like this because they remind that I am indeed growing as a human...and more and more able to appreciate the brillant love and goodness in my life, despite any bad.

(photo by my honey)

So here's what happened....nothing big or earth shattering by any means just little tiny moi feeling somewhat despondent lately, from my work and from those around me. But, in keeping true to my self-imposed promise of not withdrawing 'inwards' but instead reaching outwards, I kept my lunch date with my dear friend Becca, where we were later joined by her boyfriend Darren and the 3 of us just had the nicest chat about life, family, our businesses and struggles and following our truest selves instead of taking the easier routes which may be funner but not always so authentic or right. I left my friends feeling so grateful for them. I left them feeling more positive and again ready to step positively into my beloved studio. Without even knowing it, they were there when I needed a hand and a push upwards and that meant the world because it reminded me that they will always be there when I really need them, weather I ask them to be or not.

But, despite the fact that I was indeed feeling much cheerier...I was still really missing my best friend. There awaiting me in the mailbox upon my arrival home was a package from Judit. However by this time, for reasons unbeknown-st to me, a monster migraine had quickly set it's sharp dagger teeth in...but I just had to rip into my parcel, so whiles I did so, Jonathan completely understanding that I could do nothing else at that moment but rip into my parcel, ha ha...made me a super strong coffee (which sometimes helps my head) and I sat with that coffee made with love and the super long delicious letter amongst all the beautiful love-filled goodies (I'll show you them very soon). I found myself tearful...not because I was sad, but because I suddenly, despite the bad head pain, felt so happy and charmed; Here was my steadfast sweet sweet man waiting patiently to give me a back rub. Here I was just coming from a lovely afternoon with two lovely and supportive friends. Here I was with a package just for me from one of my most favourite and loved people in the whole world.....Well needless to say, I suddenly felt so silly for ever feeling disjointed from my life because just when I needed them I had a flurry of beautiful reminders that I was far far from alone.

So anyhow...of course the head pain got increasingly worse, so bad so that I wasn't able to sleep a wink...and in true form Jonathan didn't either, he never leaves me alone during my worse migraines and that alone makes my heart squeeze with love. But also this evening 'Bad-Timing' saw it fit to have a nice chunk of glass find it's way deep into my heel! On top of this! Ella-Luna looked liked she wasn't feeling well (or she was just worried about me because she always acts 'weird' when her mama isn't feeling well...she just knows) anyhow there we were at 2am from 3am with my honey carefully digging that damn piece of glass out of my foot! because of the headache I couldn't bend over to see it and it had to come out because well I could barely walk on that foot! At 4am we were giving Ella-Luna a nice warm bath because she had abit of diarrhea and she hates being dirty...and again it just struck me...the beauty in this tiring, pain-ridden night. Despite everything, I felt so loved and so full and so lucky and so part of my special little family that I felt like I would burst with happiness!

It's just funny and wonderful how things turn out...especially when you can see the Light in the Dark.

...May you all find your light in your darks...Be Well...and until the next post...Wishing you strong and flowing creativity.

1 comment:

Jonathan said...

That piece of glass was a real bugger... :-(

Of course I stayed up with you and your migraine, as you would for me. It's what we do!

LLL