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Wednesday, July 21, 2010

Love and Support and Everything...Everything....

I am feeling very full and buoyed and I have to share...bear with me for some heartfelt gushing coming out of nowhere perhaps to you all but definitely from somewhere for me...

I know I am a handful...this creative biz and artistic journey that I am in is one that I've been heavily involved with for well almost my whole life, but definitely the past 20 years...it's incredible and I am beyond lucky to be on this path, I know this everyday but that being said, it's not easy by any stretch of the imagination...The ups and downs I experience as a very sensitive and very creative person take their toll, in bad ways such as much stress & migraines but also in beautiful delicious good ways...


Today I have to express how so so grateful I am because I have a partner who lifts me up when I spin and spin my rusty wheels into what I fear is a hole I'll never find my way out of! He picks me up, dusts me off...polishes my wheels till there shiny and inflated and than puts me down again to watch me and love me as I go either in the same direction, often back into that same hole, ha ha or in a totally new direction...

I am working so hard on growing my creative biz, I think I am burning myself out on some levels a bit but at the same time, that is my routine, it's how I work best quite often and I think I know I can work this way safely and come out on the other side even better because I have the unflinching support that I do.

I am feeling so overwhelmed, so fully fully supported in my creative struggles and successes...so utterly full of love and strength because of one person, and that amazes me...

It's almost unfair that one person could be everything...that one person can believe in us even more than we do in ourselves some days...there is no doubt in my mind that most of us creative types are incredibly strong, we have to be, to keep putting our hearts and souls into work that quite often is not wanted or used or sought after, etc, and we usually don't give ourselves enough credit...but today I send out thanks to one person...I am giving credit where credit is so incredibly due....

I feel like I am in constant warmth and care, that my obsessive tender little heart has the best home that it could ever possibly have outside of my body...I feel that my hand is always held and my worries & dreams always supported...

I am feeling so lucky...unbelievably lucky that all the craziness and creative uniqueness that is me, that all my insecurities and ego, that all my blissfullness and all my tears, and that all my demands and needs make me quite the hand full to deal with and shoulder...but you know, all of this, all of it is just turned back around to me to be seen as part of the magic that is me.  That the 'crazy' is loved just as much as the 'sane' lends to such a security...one that nutures even more creativity & dreams...

...'Wow'...I must shout out a big big 'WOW' and many many heartfelt happy heart sighs and the biggest ever and constant 'Thank Yous' to one unique artists dream, who knows who he is....XXXOOO

This Emmy Rossum song often hits close to home for me & never fails to strum on my heart & always reminds me of the unflinching support I have.

12 comments:

Java Venus said...

Beautiful post, Mandy! Really! This makes me think of the Wynona Judd song....She sings, "I can (still) feel all of that love from here....." The song is about a different life situation, but.... Your sharing all of your love, I can feel it from here.... ;)

Mandy Saile of Bijou's Whimsy said...

Oh Java thanks soooo much...your lovely comment made me teary just now...because lately in all honestly I just feels like no one is reading or looking at what I am doing & this post is an extra speacil one for me and a whole day already has gone by without comment...until yours just now so thank you so so much for taking time to visit, read & to connect. Hugs...hugs:D I am popping over to your blog tommorow most surely. Be Well & Sleep Sweet.

Michelle May said...

Beautiful Mandy.
It is a rare gift that we get when we are given a partner that compliments us, helps us grow and loves us when we feel unloveable.
So happy for you. I know the feeling as well. ;)

Stephanie said...

Mandy, I think you and I have a lot in common! I often feel sorry for my husband because he has to put up with my crazy ups and downs. The fact that you thanked your partner so openly and honestly is beautiful and touching. I loved reading your blog.

RuffHaven said...

You've sent a powerful message out into the universe. Be prepared for the fallout of love and gratitude.
You are an amazing woman and artist.
And this is one of the most heart touching tributes I have ever read on a blog.
On another note. I have been reading your blog for a few weeks now and because of the craziness of setting up my own network I am guilty of not posting comments as often as I should. Just know that I am out hear reading your words and drooling over your art.
Take care
Marianne

Maki said...

Mandy it was a lovely post to read. I could feel the warmth. It is wonderful to have such unconditional support and be aware of that, isn't it? You are a lovely person who deserves it too! xm

Maki said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
Mandy Saile of Bijou's Whimsy said...

Oh Wow, oh wow, thanks soooo much you guys...your beautiful comments just have made my heart so happy, I can't even tell you...I was really needing some comments so they are extra appreciated:D I was having a few days there where you know you work so hard on your blog etc and you just don't feel like anyone out there is listening or looking or connecting...so thanks you've given me hope to continue plugging away:D Hugs to you all...XOXO Mandy

Katalin said...

I loved reading this beautiful post Mandy!..it's very touching and full of love..I am so happy for you...to have a partner in life like him is a rear gift (as you know it)and what a wonderful way to say thank you and show your appreciation and love for him!
You are an amazing artist so keep on doing what you are doing!! :) xo

Lori said...

Mandy, I loved reading about this beautiful part of your life. It warms my heart to know there is so much love in your home. I am not surprised because it shows through in your sweetness and breath-taking artwork. Much love to you both :)

Karen M said...

Lucky you, to have such support. It isn't common to find this, I think. And don't forget, you DO deserve it.

Jonathan said...

Thanks Bijou!!!